this is perfection.

Birthday 101

2011-10-31T15:49:00.003+08:00

So... It's going to be November soon (or is it Nov already?). I've never been good with dates. I still remember back when I'm in school, most of my assignments were wrongly dated. And up till now, I always have to check my phone calendar. Every. Single. Day. Which is also why I tend to forget to wish my friends on their birthdays. Which makes the Facebook Birthday Updates something like a Godsend to me. And then there's the Public Holidays. The only holiday I am very sure of is Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Why? Not because I am excited for Raya and hence, counts down every single day to the day but rather because of the fasting month. Its like 'ok.. today's the 5th day of Ramadan, so 25 more days to go!'.
And as I'm typing this, and checking FB at the same time, I just realized (courtesy of some friends' updates) Hari Raya Haji is this weekend. What?! Another holiday? YESSS!!

But, well.. This entry isn't about Hari Raya or the holidays but rather because as soon as I realized Nov is just around the corner, I have to start planning for Momsie and Ihsan's birthday.
No big parties or whatnot. Just a simple family celebration but still, I need to plan for the celebration and the pressies right? Right? And a family member's birthday is a HUGE deal. So must really plan properly...

Have been thinking of celebrating both my Mom and nephew's birthday together, on the same day despite the fact that Mom's in the first week of Dec and Ihsan's the last. Am still undecided on where, but have been thinking along the lines of... Buffet. Mediterranean. Seafood. Hmm.. think I might have a few ideas on just the right place.

My big sis suggested 'scrapbooking' as a present for my mom. Love the idea. And I have lots of ideas on designs.. but simply no time. Weekdays we're both packed with work. Saturdays will be our family day. And Sundays are Pergas day for me, and plus with exams coming.. Where Got Time. And how to hide such a big messy project from my Mom? She has eyes and ears all over the house. Very hard to keep things from her. Very very hard. Ahh, headache. Nevermind, we'll find a way. Maybe we can lock her out of the house. Or make Daddy bring her to some wet market in Pasir Ris for marketing.

And then... there Ihsan. What to get for his birthday? I hate having to make a decision. I suck at making decisions. During lunch time, it took me the entire lunch hour just looking thru the menu to decide what to eat. I am soooo useless at making a decision. You know what, maybe I'll just get Ihsan some school supplies since his starting nursery next year. Yeah, that'll be good, and a boring present at the same time. Oh well, I still have a long time to decide. Maybe one or two ideas would pop in my head in between now till December.

Alright. Found some websites with really cool scrapbooking ideas. Gotta check 'em out. Gonna make my one day MC today worth it, or at least, whatever's left for the day since it's already 4pm. Gahh. Time files really fast when you're at home.

Hooray for...

2011-10-18T12:46:00.002+08:00

ME!

Yes, Hooray for me! Alhamdulillah.

I. Got. It.

This post is redundant, I know. But crying out and shouting for joy in public would be too much for some people, so I'd settle for a simpler way of showing my joy and gratefulness.

Through blogging.

Happy, happy day to all.

Cheers!

Slap.

2011-10-14T14:59:00.002+08:00

Just needed to vent out my anger.

Like seriously, I am beyond mad.

Have never felt this angry in my life.

Tell me, how can some people be so irresponsible?

What happened might not happen to me,

but the fact remains; you hurt someone very dear to me.

You abuse your responsibility.

You took everything you had for granted.

You have no sense of guilt. At all.

Never once you show remorse over the fact that you have ruined someone else's life.

God, I swear if you were right in front of me now, I would personally strangle you.

I have never felt this much hatred over anyone.

But things happened. As much as I'd like to kick your bloody ass, slap your freaking ugly face,

and tear each and every one of your useless limbs, even I have to admit, there's no point.

Besides, I am not that crazy that I'll just disregard the law. Furthermore, I'm not that brave.
You'd probably kicked me first before I can even lift up my leg. Oh wells.

But let me tell you this, I will never stop praying that one day Allah will repay you back every single one of your sins. Especially what you have done towards them. Every single thing that you have taken, with our without permission, I will never halalkan. Never. One day you'll realize just how dirty you are. People like you don't deserve any second chances. God, I can't ever imagine how I'd feel, how low I'd feel if I did what you've done. How can you even stand yourself?

At these times one will realize the importance of faith, family and love. With these 3, and hard work as well as perseverance, one will go thru anything. And I hope Allah will bestow upon them these traits. If you are reading this, please always remember that I will always be by your side, you can always count on me, no matter what. I'll be your shoulder if you need something/someone to cry one. I'll be your rock, to keep you in place, to keep you strong. Remember that. Allah does not put infront of you obstacles that you cannot go thru. He knows you can do it. Its only a matter of time. Believe in yourself. I love you always.

If God brings you to it, he will bring you thru it.

In happy moments, praise God.

In difficult moments, seek God.

In quite moments, worship God.

In painful moments, trust God.

In every moment, thank God.

Starting anew.

2011-08-31T15:58:00.003+08:00

First thing first,
I would like to wish my fellow Muslim friends a very happy Hari Raya,
and Maaf Zahir Batin.

I must say this Syawal is indeed a blessed one.
I get to celebrate the first day of Raya with my sis and my nephews after 5 long years.
Even though we still got to celebrate the 2nd day (onwards) together then,
it still felt different, you know. The atmosphere of the first day of Syawal is surreal,
and when you have your entire family and your loved ones around you, you just feel complete.
That's how I feel, at least.

I also get to meet my aunt (dad's sis-in-law) and my cousins from Muar for the very first time in so many years. Having them over at our place on the first day of Raya makes Syawal this year even more special. Albeit the fact that we often communicate thru FB, its just so different to see them face to face after so long. Now, I am definitely hoping to celebrate Raya in Muar one day, InsyaAllah.

And you know what's the best thing that could have happened this Syawal?
It is too see my loved one rekindling severed ties, asking for forgiveness and starting anew.
I learnt a lot thru out these past few months. I see my loved ones falling apart,
I see them turning against one another. I learnt what love really means.
I learnt how much one careless mistake can turn your life upside down, how it can devastates the life of the people around you.
I learnt how important trust is. And thru all of these, I get to finally see them in a different light.
The real them. The person they really are on the inside that is so much different from what they portrayed on the outside.

And most importantly, it opened my eyes. I get to really, really see them.
There are the ones whom I am really very proud of. And then, there are the few who really disappoints me. Who made me question myself for trusting them. And to put it simpler, I just don't give a damn about them anymore.

It pained me to see someone close to me losing everything she held dearly. But I have to applaud her, for her strength, and for her love for Allah, especially, how she went thru eveything, every shit that came her way with her head held high. How she ignore all the negativity, the constant talking and bitching behind her back. She stood firmly on the ground. She refuses to let anything bring her down for the second time.
I know how much it hurts her when the people she loved turned against her. When they did everything they could to bring her down. But Allah sees and knows everything, even things that are deep in your heart.

I think she came out of this trial a winner. And I am very happy for her. She's so strong,

and even when she knew all along she was right, she didn't find it necessary to go around telling people she's right. She kept quiet. She turned to Allah. And in the end,
the people who hurt her were the ones who came back asking for her forgiveness. And even so, she didn't go 'I told you so' to them. To be honest, if I were in her shoes, I would just love to turn the tables on them and say that right in their faces. She has so much patience in her, that I feel ashamed of myself.
I am also very proud of the other person, for realizing her mistakes, and being brave enough to come forward and apologize. It takes a lot of courage to do just that. Its not who you were that defines you. What's important is that you learn from your mistakes and move forward in your life.

And then there's some people who I am so truly disappointed with. Whom we've done so much for. But at the end of the day, when they've got what they needed, they turned their backs on us. I tried to 'right' the wrong by being honest to them. I told them what I felt but unfortunately, they saw that as my way of retaliation. They couldn't accept the fact that I think so little of them. I gave in eventually, and apologized, not wanting to make a bad situation worse, but it takes two to tango, right? I can't force people to admit their mistakes, can't force them to change their ways. So right now, I'm going to just keep quiet. Life is like a wheel. Right now they're up there. They're so happy and so satisfied with their lives, they think they're untouchable. But like I said, life is like a wheel. You aren't always on top. And when you fall...

But while I am disappointed with them, I wouldn't say I'm sad that we've drifted apart.
Who needs people who aren't sincere in their life? I certainly don't.

In fact I am very glad and fortunate that while I lost some people in my life, I am blessed to have found new ones. Right now, after all that we've been thru, we became stronger. We learn to be grateful and to appreciate what we have in our lives. And I am definitely grateful to have them in my life. We're so close now, we're like siblings, each and every one of us. Thank you Allah. Like they say, you lose some, you win some. All's well in the end.

This is definitely an eye-opening experience and most memorable Syawal ever. Wish my Nenek was here with us. That would definitely make this Syawal a prefect one. I love and miss you Nenek, so very much. May Allah bless you and your soul always. We will always pray for you.

Once again, a very happy Hari Raya to all you people out there, for I certainly had a very happy and fulfilling Raya! Looking forward to the weekends.

Eat. PLAY. Love.

2011-05-25T19:15:00.005+08:00

If you were to ask me, what is the one thing in my life that I will forever be thankful for?
Its the people I grew up with. My parents, my sister, my adorably naughty nephews, and my awesome and wonderful cousins. And my amazing, always there for me friends.

But friends aside, this blog entry is dedicated to those closest to my heart.

I am very thankful that growing up, I am always surrounded by the people I love. Always.

From family get-togethers to picnics to bbqs to holidays to weekend outings, there is always something for me to look forward to.

But now, as we grow older, as we focused more on work, school, our goals, we lost track of what actually makes us happy. We forget to stop, and take a deep breath. We forget to tell someone that they're always on our minds, heck, we don't even think of them anymore. Our lives is just about us, us and us. And that got me wondering, what if one day, our loved ones moved on, would we regret not spending more time with them? Would we regret the times we could have called or just sms them to let them know they're on our minds?

So, I decided to re-create our cousins day out. The last time we had one was months ago, so it was perfect timing.

It was easy really, all I had to do was to tag everyone in my FB status. And then the planning begins...Where? When? Who to bring what? What games? What time?
And finally, came the day filled with laughter, fun and love.

Simply put, we had lots and lots and lots of fun. We got to catch up with each other, gossip, do crazy things like play twister in the middle of the walkway. And reminisce our childhood days with UNO. Its a wonder how such simple activities can bring so much laughter and fun. Well, it must be the company. Again, I am very thankful to have such fun, happening and spontaneous cousins. And I am definitely gonna make this a monthly affair. So, June's coming, that means I've got to start planning for a new activity for us to indulge in.
So, while I'm busy thinking of possible activities, here's some pictures from 14th May's picnic:

Food, glorious food.

A time to bond, share and love. Spread the love, everyone.

Every precious moment, captured.

Spectacular view. Beautiful skyline.

I came across this quote once, "Family life is not a computer program that runs on its own;
it needs continual input from everyone."
And I couldn't agree more.

I am fickle, like that.

2011-05-15T00:39:00.006+08:00

Sometime last year, I decided to stop blogging.
I just didn't know what else to share about on my blog.
And then I quit, and found that there's still so many things I wanna talk about and share, and, at the end of the day, I just needed an outlet where I can rant about anything and everything under the sun. Well, maybe not everything. Most of the things then.

It's just so much easier to do it in writing, isn't it?

And so... Hello all, I am back in the blogging world.

Or until the next time I find myself having nothing to blog about, that is.

See, like I said. I am fickle, like that.