Wow. I don't know what made me type in this blog address of mine in the url but I did. And wow, just wow. My last post was in 2011. 7 years ago. Deleted the bulk of my posts, just because. Seems like that is my signature answer to every other question thrown my way. Just because. Its like answering a question without actually
answering the question.. if you get what I mean. In which case you don't have to.
Time really flies. I remember penning down every single thought, idea, and whatever it is that I felt like sharing, every single week. Blogging was an outlet for me to just vent out my over-active imagination. I remember being most active (in blogging) during my Millennia days. I don't know what happened that made me stop blogging altogether, but I think I kind of miss having this outlet to pour out just anything and everything.
Maybe its time to bring life to this dead blog of mine. I mean, I do have a lot of things to share.. me being me. I will always have some things to talk about. We'll see. Maybe I'll update tomorrow. Maybe next week, Or many in 2025, 7 years from now. Hahaha.
Labels: thoughts
So... It's going to be November soon (or is it Nov already?). I've never been good with dates. I still remember back when I'm in school, most of my assignments were wrongly dated. And up till now, I always have to check my phone calendar. Every. Single. Day. Which is also why I tend to forget to wish my friends on their birthdays. Which makes the Facebook Birthday Updates something like a Godsend to me. And then there's the Public Holidays. The only holiday I am very sure of is Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Why? Not because I am excited for Raya and hence, counts down every single day to the day but rather because of the fasting month. Its like
'ok.. today's the 5th day of Ramadan, so 25 more days to go!'.
And as I'm typing this, and checking FB at the same time, I just realized (courtesy of some friends' updates) Hari Raya Haji is this weekend. What?! Another holiday?
YESSS!!But, well.. This entry isn't about Hari Raya or the holidays but rather because as soon as I realized Nov is just around the corner, I have to start planning for Momsie and Ihsan's birthday.
No big parties or whatnot. Just a simple family celebration but still, I need to plan for the celebration and the pressies right? Right? And a family member's birthday is a HUGE deal. So must really plan properly...
Have been thinking of celebrating both my Mom and nephew's birthday together, on the same day despite the fact that Mom's in the first week of Dec and Ihsan's the last. Am still undecided on where, but have been thinking along the lines of... Buffet. Mediterranean.
Seafood. Hmm.. think I might have a few ideas on just the right place.
My big sis suggested 'scrapbooking' as a present for my mom. Love the idea. And I have lots of ideas on designs.. but simply no time. Weekdays we're both packed with work. Saturdays will be our family day. And Sundays are Pergas day for me, and plus with exams coming.. Where Got Time. And how to hide such a big messy project from my Mom? She has eyes and ears all over the house. Very hard to keep things from her. Very very hard. Ahh, headache. Nevermind, we'll find a way.
Maybe we can lock her out of the house.
Or make Daddy bring her to some wet market in Pasir Ris for marketing.
And then... there Ihsan. What to get for his birthday? I hate having to make a decision. I suck at making decisions. During lunch time, it took me the entire lunch hour just looking thru the menu to decide what to eat. I am soooo useless at making a decision. You know what, maybe I'll just get Ihsan some school supplies since his starting nursery next year. Yeah, that'll be good, and a boring present at the same time. Oh well, I still have a long time to decide. Maybe one or two ideas would pop in my head in between now till December.
Alright. Found some websites with really cool scrapbooking ideas. Gotta check 'em out. Gonna make my one day MC today worth it, or at least, whatever's left for the day since it's already 4pm. Gahh. Time files really fast when you're at home.
Labels: birthday, ideas
ME!
Yes, Hooray for me! Alhamdulillah.
I. Got. It.
This post is redundant, I know. But crying out and shouting for joy in public would be too much for some people, so I'd settle for a simpler way of showing my joy and gratefulness.
Through blogging.
Happy, happy day to all.
Cheers!
Labels: good news, new beginnings
First thing first,
I would like to wish my fellow Muslim friends a very happy Hari Raya,
and Maaf Zahir Batin.
I must say this Syawal is indeed a blessed one.
I get to celebrate the first day of Raya with my sis and my nephews after 5 long years.
Even though we still got to celebrate the 2nd day (onwards) together then,
it still felt different, you know. The atmosphere of the first day of Syawal is surreal,
and when you have your entire family and your loved ones around you, you just feel complete.
That's how I feel, at least.
I also get to meet my aunt (dad's sis-in-law) and my cousins from Muar for the very first time in so many years. Having them over at our place on the first day of Raya makes Syawal this year even more special. Albeit the fact that we often communicate thru FB, its just so different to see them face to face after so long. Now, I am definitely hoping to celebrate Raya in Muar one day, InsyaAllah.
And you know what's the best thing that could have happened this Syawal?
It is too see my loved one rekindling severed ties, asking for forgiveness and starting anew.
I learnt a lot thru out these past few months. I see my loved ones falling apart,
I see them turning against one another. I learnt what love really means.
I learnt how much one careless mistake can turn your life upside down, how it can devastates the life of the people around you.
I learnt how important trust is. And thru all of these, I get to finally see them in a different light.
The real them. The person they really are on the inside that is so much different from what they portrayed on the outside.
And most importantly, it opened my eyes. I get to really, really see them.
There are the ones whom I am really very proud of. And then, there are the few who really disappoints me. Who made me question myself for trusting them. And to put it simpler, I just don't give a damn about them anymore.
It pained me to see someone close to me losing everything she held dearly. But I have to applaud her, for her strength, and for her love for Allah, especially, how she went thru eveything, every shit that came her way with her head held high. How she ignore all the negativity, the constant talking and bitching behind her back. She stood firmly on the ground. She refuses to let anything bring her down for the second time.
I know how much it hurts her when the people she loved turned against her. When they did everything they could to bring her down. But Allah sees and knows everything, even things that are deep in your heart.
I think she came out of this trial a winner. And I am very happy for her. She's so strong,
and even when she knew all along she was right, she didn't find it necessary to go around telling people she's right. She kept quiet. She turned to Allah. And in the end,
the people who hurt her were the ones who came back asking for her forgiveness. And even so, she didn't go 'I told you so' to them. To be honest, if I were in her shoes, I would just love to turn the tables on them and say that right in their faces. She has so much patience in her, that I feel ashamed of myself.
I am also very proud of the other person, for realizing her mistakes, and being brave enough to come forward and apologize. It takes a lot of courage to do just that. Its not who you were that defines you. What's important is that you learn from your mistakes and move forward in your life.
And then there's some people who I am so truly disappointed with. Whom we've done so much for. But at the end of the day, when they've got what they needed, they turned their backs on us. I tried to 'right' the wrong by being honest to them. I told them what I felt but unfortunately, they saw that as my way of retaliation. They couldn't accept the fact that I think so little of them. I gave in eventually, and apologized, not wanting to make a bad situation worse, but it takes two to tango, right? I can't force people to admit their mistakes, can't force them to change their ways. So right now, I'm going to just keep quiet. Life is like a wheel. Right now they're up there. They're so happy and so satisfied with their lives, they think they're untouchable. But like I said, life is like a wheel. You aren't always on top. And when you fall...
But while I am disappointed with them, I wouldn't say I'm sad that we've drifted apart.
Who needs people who aren't sincere in their life? I certainly don't.
In fact I am very glad and fortunate that while I lost some people in my life, I am blessed to have found new ones. Right now, after all that we've been thru, we became stronger. We learn to be grateful and to appreciate what we have in our lives. And I am definitely grateful to have them in my life. We're so close now, we're like siblings, each and every one of us. Thank you Allah. Like they say, you lose some, you win some. All's well in the end.
This is definitely an eye-opening experience and most memorable Syawal ever. Wish my Nenek was here with us. That would definitely make this Syawal a prefect one. I love and miss you Nenek, so very much. May Allah bless you and your soul always. We will always pray for you.
Once again, a very happy Hari Raya to all you people out there, for I certainly had a very happy and fulfilling Raya! Looking forward to the weekends.
Labels: Lessons learnt, Life, Syawal
